(Warning: Spoilers!)
~What X-Men Movie is My Least Favorite~
I love the X-Men. I love the
concept of mutations. I love the conflict between Charles and Erik’s political
views. Yet I do not love all the X-Men movies. One of them left me feeling
disappointed and underwhelmed when I left the theater. It filled me with
sadness and a longing for the good old days. That is why I say that The Wolverine is the worst X-Men movie
ever made.
No, wait, shut up. Just listen.
The
Wolverine, for those who do not remember and are therefore happier in life,
is the follow up to what happens to Logan after X-Men: Last Stand. It takes place in Japan and leaves a hollow
feeling where your love for Wolverine once was.
The plot hinges on the idea that a
mechanical bug attached to Logan’s heart could suppress his healing ability. I
find that laughable. I looked into the how the bug could have been suppressing
his abilities. The only one I found that sounded slightly plausible was
the idea that the bug was constantly doing damage to his heart so his healing
ability had to focus on that instead of healing his other injuries. While this
theory is the least terrible, I still do not think it would work. Take for
example Wade Wilson or Deadpool. Wade can heal from various gore-intensive
injuries within minutes all while his healing factor is dealing with his
advanced cancer. If Wade, who has a knock-off version of Logan’s healing
ability, can still heal while dealing with cancer, I have no doubt Logan could
deal with the little bug. On a more personal note, my favorite part of
Wolverine’s fight scenes are when he gets hit with something that should have
killed him and he just walks it off. This movie took that away from me and I
will not forgive it.
Logan losing his adamantium claws
was also frustrating. I only accepted the bone claws in X-Men:
Origins because it helped tell Logan’s history accurately. Taking them away in this
movie made no sense especially with X-Men:
Days of Future Past (DoFP) coming out after it. In DoFP we see that future
Logan has adamantium claws again, which makes no sense due to a) they wouldn’t
of had time to fix him before the Sentinels became a threat and b) adamantium
is very rare and would be impossible to find in a war zone.
The final nail on the coffin was
the bonus scene after the credits. In this scene we see Charles Xavier alive
and working with Erik Lensherr (Magneto). At first I was very excited when I
watched this scene because not only has Charles come back from his supposed
death at the Phoenix’s (Jean Grey) hand, he is also friends with Erik again
fixing the most tragic case of frenemies known to the world. The thing is
though that Charles’s miraculous return to the living world is not explained in
that scene or EVER TALKED ABOUT AGAIN. If they explained it in DoFP, I could have
given The Wolverine a pass for this
scene, but they did not so I will not.
Overall, The Wolverine
did not deliver what it promised and took away everything I hold near and dear
about Wolverine.
Coming up Next:
Which is better: The Hobbit the
movie or The Hobbit the book?
